“Her name means light, that’s what it means.”

At some point during the days leading up to Norah’s funeral, I spoke these words to Uncle Jack. I didn’t realize it until he mentioned them during Norah’s eulogy. He then led the entire church in singing “This Little Light of Mine” which is what inspired the title of this blog.

I knew her name meant light because of a “name meaning” print in her room. But I didn’t really know.

We are seeing her light in so many incredible ways. She’s shining, just as she did during her short time here on Earth. I believe this is her way of saying “I’m gonna let it shine.”

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Hank captured the clock as she was born, just as he did for all of our girls. A friend pointed out the bright reflection of the light shining down on that exact moment.
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Something divine was present on her Baptism Day. We knew, but she saw.
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Momma giving her comfort as Daddy held her light.

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On a day following her death, we saw this amazing sunset after the clouds parted.
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Uncle Jack called our three girls “The Northern Sisters.” On this night, the moon and the North Star were shining brighter than usual for a Pittsburgh sky.
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June 26, 2018 – Hank and I were lying in bed, early in the morning, weeping and talking and holding each other. He looked up and saw Norah’s name shining brightly on our ceiling. All five letters were seen by him. Once he was able to speak the words to tell me, I captured three of the five letters before it disappeared right in front of our eyes, in just a few seconds. “n-o-r” was saying hello.
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For months, I had envisioned us having a “family of 5” photo taken in this spot. Norah was shining down on her sisters as I struggled to take their photo with the angel bear, which we call “Norah bear” (a special bear given to her on her Baptism day, which was on a shelf above her changing table; she looked up at this bear and giggled at it multiple times a day. This bear holds her remains and is present with us in our daily lives).

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Lighting candles for Norah at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC.
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I was struggling heavily as we walked to Central Park. My eyes were stinging with tears, my chest was tight, yet empty, I caught myself forgetting to breath. But I was trying to hold it together, in silence, for Hank, Addy, Sydney, and others. I looked down at the ground in sadness and this was below my feet. There may even be the vision of a baby’s smiling face near the “t” in “light.”
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July 10, 2018 – When I woke up this morning, my eyes instantly focused on the same part of the ceiling where Hank had seen Norah’s name just a few weeks ago. Today, I believe she was saying “Good morning, Momma” through a heart with an angel wing. The image disappeared within a few seconds of me capturing this photo.

3 thoughts on ““Her name means light, that’s what it means.”

  1. A. You are amazing and are able to describe your feelings and emotions through the written word as well as any I have ever read. I feel your grief, but I also feel your love for Norah, Addy, Sydney, and Hank. You are an inspiration to anyone who has ever lost someone they love so deeply. I am praying that you will be able to work through your grief and sadness by your daily entries in this journal. Love you.

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