Six weeks have passed since Norah was on this Earth, and in our arms. Of course we know she’s in Heaven, but she’s supposed to be here with us. This is wrong. Everything has gone wrong. I’m stuck in a tornado of catastrophic sadness and fear.
This morning as I drove to an appointment, alone and in silence, with only the noise of the radio that I couldn’t even hear, I felt my (now baseline) chest pain beginning to increase. I knew what was coming… crushing anxiety, blinding tears, horrific sorrow, overwhelming grief. I looked at the clock… it was 9:11, a trigger time for me because I had to dial 911 the day my sweet girl died. I began to cry out. Uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. I wept.
Suddenly, I could feel Norah’s strong presence and my emptiness rushing in all at the same time. I kept thinking the continuous, helpless thought of how badly I want her back. I looked into my rearview mirror at her empty car seat.
“Why did this happen to us?! Why is this our life?!”
All of this happened within 30 seconds, when suddenly, Train’s “Calling All Angels” began playing on the radio. The song I’ve loved since the passing of my grandmother. The song we heard live, just 6 days before Norah died. The song that was so beautifully sung with acoustic guitar, by our dear friend at Norah’s funeral.
She was there… in my heart and in my soul, as my body cried out… calling all angels.